my summer in photos

let’s pretend this isn’t how it ends. walk through the garden of your heart’s plans. august love, you won’t remember it, but i can. (august love // grayscale)

(inspired by clara)

school started for me about two weeks ago, so summer is pretty much gone. but this summer felt like i was living out the plot of a ya-novel. i can confidently say that it was the best summer of my life, and maybe just the best time of my life in general. i think i’ll miss this summer until i die.

summer started with my best friend and i driving to the state border to frolic by a lake all afternoon. our sweaty hair was still tied back in ponytails from that morning’s soccer game. we picked bouquets of wildflowers, followed animal tracks through the sun-hardened mud, and fished (without any luck).

i accidentally locked our keys in the truck. we were miles and miles away from home and we didn’t have any cell service. we had to yank down the window an inch and use a fishing pole to pull the keys out.

my best friends and i were all reunited for one perfect day in late may. we met up at our co-op’s end of the year picnic and then relocated to bethany‘s enormous farmhouse. it was so hot that we couldn’t do anything more than lie around on the trampoline in their dusty barn and nibble on strawberry popsicles.

we caught up on how our lives had been going since the last time we’d been together. romance, summer plans, dreams, drama — everything confusing seems to fall into place once you share it with the people who know you best.

a round of popcorn gets intense.
hey there delilah

singing old love songs when your lips are stained bright red from the strawberries leaves me dying for a kiss.

it started to cool down in the evening, so we decided to go on an adventure. this “adventure” consisted of splashing around in a muddy stream until kelsie screamed that there was a snake in the water with us (there wasn’t).

we split up awhile later, three of us going to a lawn party while bethany went out to see another friend.

it’s easy to pretend that everything is simple when it’s twilight and you’re tumbling down a blow-up slide in your socks. this is what it’s like to be a kid again. this is what it’s like to be joyful.

we sprinted into a barn when it started to rain. beneath the fairy lights strung across the rafters were tables of food and desserts. i think i cried when there wasn’t any cheesecake.

and then there’s the old power dam. i biked there a few times to wade in the river and look at the graffiti. i don’t think i’ve ever found a place that’s more me. i love how it’s hidden but has lots to say, overgrown and vibrant. it seems almost romantic to me.

DSC_1433

ironic

the greatest lie the devil ever told was convincing the world he didn’t exist
i hope marty’s ok

one day someone will love me back, and i’ll take them here so they can see who i really am.

dear cheerful,
a poem

sweltering august days often lead to flushed faces
but summer isn’t the only reason for the heat in my cheeks
the staccato rhythm of the drumline across the parking lot
matches the pounding of my heart when i see you
the sweat glittering on your brow shines like tiny gemstones in the golden afternoon sun
it lights up your hair like a halo
sometimes, you are so beautiful it makes my chest ache

| summer 2018 playlist |

peach (lobotomy) // waterparks
take her to the moon // waterparks
stupid for you // waterparks
rollercoaster // bleachers
young volcanoes // fall out boy
never fall in love // MØ
time-bomb // all time low
rock to my roll // anarbor
still be around // a summer high
shut up and dance // WALK THE MOON
on top of the world // imagine dragons
favorite record // fall out boy
crush // tessa violet
wild heart // bleachers
riptide // vance joy


of course, there’s also all the time i spent at camp, and that’s what really made this summer so overwhelmingly wonderful. i’m working on a post right now about the highlights of my weeks there, and hopefully i’ll be able to get that up soon. :)

xo apollo

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christmas playlist + memes

hello, friends! christmas always sneaks up on me, and this year is no exception. it’s in sixteen days and i’m not feeling very festive, and i haven’t finished shopping for gifts, either. i know what i’m getting everyone, but apparently you need money to buy stuff? who knew. luckily for me, i just got $50 from my grandpa, so that should help.

(also!! it’s snowing right now!! i’ll try to share photos of it and some more christmas-themed posts over the next two weeks.)

i’m a bit sick of traditional christmas carols, so i made a playlist for myself of (mostly) pop punk holiday songs. ones in bold are explicit. enjoy. :)

christmas playlist:

humbug // owl city

kiss me babe, it’s christmas time // owl city

all i want for christmas is you (cover) // my chemical romance

fool’s holiday // all time low

christmas lights (cover) // yellowcard

ho ho hopefully // the maine

peppermint winter // owl city

christmas on the road // sleeping with sirens

oh ms believer // twenty one pilots

the christmas song // owl city

smile at snow // dodie

white christmas (cover) // panic! at the disco

what’s this? (cover) // fall out boy

xmas time of year // green day

christmas collection album // sleeping at last

west coast christmas // anarbor

mini anti-christmas playlist:

xmas sux // frank iero and the patience

merry christmas, kiss my a** // all time low

i won’t be home for christmas // blink-182

yule shoot your eyes out // fall out boy


my friend b came over last month and helped decorate the christmas tree. neither of us can keep our hands off the camera, which means we got a lot of crappy pictures of each other. she suggested that we make memes out of the photos, which was a lot more fun than it should have been. so here are a few really awful christmas memes for your enjoyment (we made more, but they used pictures of me, so i guess you don’t get to see those).

meme4yes, they’re horrible, we know.

merry christmas!!

xo apollo

playlist: rad

the “rad” playlist (which originally had y.m.c.a. on it, but it made me laugh so hard that i had to take it off):

i want you back // the jackson 5

forget you // ceelo green

blitzkrieg bop // ramones

basket case // green day

back in black // ac/dc

hooked on a feeling // blue swede

should i stay or should i go // the clash

we will rock you // queen

another one bites the dust // queen

carry on my wayward son // kansas

i wanna rock // twisted sister

i wanna be sedated // ramones

cherry bomb // the runaways

we didn’t start the fire // billy joel

all the small things // blink-182

wake me up before you go-go // wham!

ghostbusters // ray parker jr.

it’s still rock and roll to me // billy joel


i’m sick today, have been since sunday night. i’ve got a fever/cold, i think. idk if anyone else does this, but when i’m sick, i have to be moving constantly or else i’ll feel like throwing up. which means i’ve been drumming my fingers on things, pacing, fanning myself, etc. it sucks a bit, but i’m actually kind of glad, because i didn’t have to go to school today.

 my friend izzy slept over on monday. we had a campfire, played the alphabet game (“my name is bartholomew, my husband’s name is bob, we live in a bathtub, and we sell BaBiEs on the bLaCk MaRkEt.”), watched guardians of the galaxy, slept in a hammock (2 people + 1 hammock = very bad idea), and made fun of each other until 2 a.m. the next morning, we danced in the rain to the piña colada song and then came back in and played just dance (which is always extremely competitive for us). i need to make an appreciation post for my friends sometime, because they’re strange and wonderful and make my heart do weird things.

i haven’t worked on my nano project yet today, but i’m at 24%, so i guess i’m on track. i’m still on the first chapter and everyone is still on titan, which isn’t nearly as much fun to write about as space shenanigans are. i want to strap them into their crappy ship immediately, but i need to introduce more characters before i can do that. someone help me, nano is already driving me insane and i’m only doing 15k words.

friendly reminder to take your meds, drink some water, and relax your shoulders. sometimes things are happy and sometimes they are sad, but they’re all good and you will be ok.

xo apollo

feuillemort: the color of a dying leaf

just some recommendations for autumn.

music:

halloween // be more chill

it’s almost halloween // panic! at the disco

the real world // owl city

forest // twenty one pilots

overgrown // oh wonder

wolf bite // owl city

isle of flightless birds // twenty one pilots

plant life // owl city

november // sleeping with sirens

trees // twenty one pilots

the first two are the only ones that are really related to the season, the others just give me autumn vibes.

books:

coraline // neil gaiman

always october // bruce coville

on the day i died // candace fleming

may bird trilogy // jodi lynn anderson

lockwood & co. series // jonathan stroud

the black cat // edgar allen poe

the witch of blackbird pond // elizabeth george speare

the lockwood & co. series is one of my favorites. i’m reading the last book in the series right now and my friend has given me hints about what happens. i’m a bit scared.

tv/movies:

coraline

the nightmare before christmas

the corpse bride

frankenweenie

over the garden wall (tv series)

lots of tim burton movies. i love them very much and they’re pretty much all i watch around halloween.


have some photography. they all have an orange-y hue.

plant’s shadows are so pretty.

i don’t know what this plant is, but i like it a lot. it looks like it has tiny pumpkins growing all over it.

protip: dried pine needles make great fire starters (they’re also one of my favorite colors).

this is the first year of my life where autumn doesn’t signal the beginning of co-op. sometimes i really hated that place, but i miss it now. i would get up early and stand in the yard to watch the sunrise, frosted grass crunching under my shoes and my breath being illuminated by the first beams of light. my mind would become calm and still to match the quiet earth. i needed those numb moments of silence to get through the day, where i would be caught in a buzz of too-loud voices and bodies moving too quickly for me to concentrate on. i have so many memories of co-op, but the ones that stand out to me the most are the yellow lights and dirty tile floors and sitting on wooden boards in the heat while i spaced out and my friends giggled about boys. i remember feeling dizzy and weightless and slow.

i think i made it sound a little awful, but i miss it. i miss my friends.

autumn is my favorite season for a lot of reasons. some simple ones are the chill in the air, apple cider, orange light, flannels and boots, halloween. but i also love autumn because it is lonely. it is beautiful, but it is dying. vibrantly colored leaves can crumble between your fingers. warm days can melt away into long, shivering nights that get into your bones.

autumn is so, so lonely. autumn is cold. i feel like autumn.

xo apollo

rainy days are rad days

« post idea from mason‘s rad blog. songs in bold are explicit. »


21 questions // waterparks

ghost on the dance floor // blink-182

HELP // the front bottoms

whatsername // green day

royal // waterparks

freckles and constellations // dodie

lipstick covered magnet // the front bottoms

disappear // dear evan hansen

bulletproof love // pierce the veil

stupid for you // waterparks

my mood’s dictated by our conversations, and if you don’t text i get too frustrated. i want you all to myself this time. (21 questions)

i’m gonna get on my knees, would you kick me in the face, please? it’ll make whatever i say sound like poetry. (lipstick covered magnet)

i’m color-coding my moods. you’re yellow, i’m natural blue. let’s get together and be green like my insides. (stupid for you)

i’m scared i’m gonna die as lonely as i feel right now. (lipstick covered magnet)

it’s like the universe has left me without a place to go. (ghost on the dance floor)

even if you’re somebody who can’t escape the feeling that the world’s passed you by, you still matter. (disappear)

i fall in love with everything that wants nothing to do with me. (royal)

this isn’t fair! no, don’t you try to blame this on me. my love for you was bulletproof, but you’re the one who shot me. (bulletproof love)

thought i ran into you down on the street. then it turned out to only be a dream. (whatsername)

i saw your ghost tonight, the moment felt so real. if your eyes stay right on mine, my wounds would start to heal. (ghost on the dance floor)

i’ll be your new favorite tune, i’ll be your black cloud by june, but only when you miss the rain like i miss you. (stupid for you)

i’ll forget you if you need me to, like nothing ever happened. my sun still sets without you, like nothing ever happened. (21 questions)


two of my favorite things to photograph are my friends when they are in love with life, and the way the world looks when the sky has cried on it.

i think i’m just going to talk now, so if that doesn’t interest you, you can leave.

school has started for me (which means having at least one mental breakdown a day). i’ve only been at public school four times so far and i have already witnessed lots of drama and become known as “that odd homeschool kid who can pronounce spanish words really well and guYS, LOOK, SHE CAN DRAW!! PLEASE DRAW ME!!” pal, i will draw you six feet under if you keep doing this.

i have a book of some of edgar allan poe’s work. i like it quite a lot, although it’s pretty disturbing. i’ve read the tell-tale heart, the cask of amontillado, the raven, the black cat, and the masque of the red death. speaking of books, i have a goodreads account now!! so that’s cool. you can follow me on there, if you’d like.

i got contacts today!! i can see leaves and all the wrinkles on my mom’s forehead!! i’ve been singing a whole new world in my head all day. i also got some free sunglasses. they’re dark enough that i can stare at people in public, but they won’t know because my eyes aren’t visible. if you’re a stalker, you need to get some of those shades. take it from an expert.

i hope you enjoy looking at pictures of flowers and wet things, because that’s pretty much all this post is. sorry about that. have a good day, my friends. :)

xo apollo

playlist: songs for summer (2)

kelsie — swing, swing from the tangles of my heart. (the all-american rejects)

i think some people are like bubbles. they’re beautiful but sometimes can’t help but float away. (about to burst)

a fair in pennsylvania.

sweaty summer job.

i said that you are prettier than the flowers and i meant it.

a fair in north carolina.

see part one here.

« post idea from mason‘s rad blog. songs in bold are explicit. »


the reckless and the brave // all time low

ride // twenty one pilots

revolution radio // green day

ocean avenue // yellowcard

l.a. devotee // panic! at the disco

teenage satellites // blink-182

fourth of july // fall out boy

hello, brooklyn // all time low

unbelievable // owl city

kings of the weekend // blink-182

she’s a rebel // green day

young volcanoes // fall out boy

bulletproof heart // my chemical romance

with you around // yellowcard

america’s suitehearts // fall out boy

last young renegade // all time low


even though it’s nearing the end of summer, it feels like the most summery time for me, probably because i get to go to the week-long camp that i’ve been talking about for months. it’s about two hours away and one of my favorite places. we leave sunday morning (i’m writing this on the 5th), and i haven’t actually started packing yet, but it will be fine.

there are so many wonderful things at camp, like the jellyfish in the lake, the tepee on the island, the totem poles, the archery range, etc. it’s a boy scout camp, but they let my scouting group, ahg, use it for one week. we work on badges while we’re there, and the ones i’m doing are fishing, shooting sports, search, survival, and rescue, and possibly cinematography. my friend izzy will be there, too, and she’s taking all the same classes. that’s nice for me, because i would feel extremely out of place without her.

i never shut up about this camp, sorry. and i never even post pictures of it. but we get a lot of free time this year, so i’ll (hopefully) be able to get lots of photos. :)

xo apollo