a week of outfits

i’ve always been interested in the clothes that other people wear because i believe that they can tell a story of where someone has been, if you’re paying attention. so i took pictures of every outfit i wore last week & documented them along with some details about each day in this post.

there’s not just one style that i like to dress as, although i’m kind of jealous of people who pick one style & stick with it. i’ve got a cherry-patterned sundress hanging in my closet right next to a leather jacket, so obviously i’m a bit all over the place. but i like my clothes most of the time, & i guess that’s what matters. although if i had the money & willpower to have just one style, it would probably be a blend of grunge & 80’s/90’s fashion.

a lot of the photos in this post aren’t great quality because i took them in my room where the lighting is awful, so sorry about that!

monday – oversized flannel (stolen from a friend), skeleton crop top, ripped jeans with black tights, red converse.

i forgot to write in my journal on monday, so i don’t really remember much that happened? i know i worked on an essay comparing different brands of bass drums, but that’s about all i can recall.

i was in my school’s drumline this year, & although i struggled some with memorizing the music (i got another concussion, so i don’t think it was really my fault), it was an amazing experience & i miss it a lot. so my brain’s been focused on percussion the past few months, hence the essay on basses.

sorry for going on a tangent right at the start of my post, but i just love my drumline so much. :’)

tuesday – bomber jacket, pac-man crop top, gray jeans, gray & orange socks.

i guess i was going for retro vibe with this? the colors & pac-man graphics feel kinda vintage to me. & i did have shoes at one point, but my feet hurt really bad from marching in a christmas parade with my band the previous week. so they came off as soon as i got home & i refused to put them back on for the picture.


wednesday – black shirt, orange & blue boho pants, black & copper nikes, silver venus symbol necklace that my arm is covering.

this outfit makes me feel like the main character of an indie coming of age movie, who meets her love interest at a small cafe while writing poetry & people watching. but she refuses to be tied down & after spending a whirlwind of a week with said love interest, she runs away to europe, leaving only her favorite piece of jewelry & a letter that smells of her shampoo.


thursday – this outfit has my favorite color palette (blue, red, and gray/black are easily the most common colors in my closet), and i lowkey feel like an e-girl when i wear it. is that a good thing? who knows. anyway, the my chemical romance tee was given to me by a friend (it’s way too big for me, but it’s ok because it’s special), & i layered it over a maroon shirt that i got at this winter retreat. the rest of the look consists of the same jeans i wore monday, combat boots, & a belt i “borrowed” from my mom about a year ago.

i had to go to the doctor thursday evening to get a sports physical (soccer pre-season is starting), & while i was there, i found out that i have a deviated septum from breaking my nose, & also really mild thoracic scoliosis. i had never heard either of those things before, & it kinda blew my mind? i don’t understand how i’ve had those conditions my whole life & didn’t find out until high school. wild.


friday – school got cancelled because of some freezing rain (our first day off school of the year!!), so i just picked something comfortable: adidas leggings & a shirt i got while volunteering at a youth retreat last year.


the back has this cute lil bear on it, but it’s ridiculously hard to photograph the back of your own shirt (this was my best attempt), so you’ll just have to trust me on this.

it was too gross to go outside, so i spent the day putting together a fairly last minute christmas list & reading a book for my biotechnology class. it’s called the immortal life of henrietta lacks, & it’s about how the never-dying cancer cells of a black woman have been used to advance science. her cells were used in the space program, the human genome project, and were used to develop the polio vaccine. she’s enabled huge medical and scientific discoveries, & it blows my mind that i had never heard of her immortal cell line until this year. it’s actually a super interesting book & i’d definitely recommend it to anyone who’s interested in science, medicine, or overlooked but essential women of history.


saturday – my AHG troop was participating in a ceremony for wreaths across america, so i had to wear my uniform. we did a flag ceremony & helped lay wreaths on the graves of veterans. & i ran into my math teacher from middle school because his son was playing taps for the event, which was great because he’s one of my favorite teachers ever. he always calls me by my last name & that just makes me so happy for some reason.


sunday – another day of not doing much, so i went with adidas leggings & a hoodie from winter camp. pretty much all i did was sleep & walk around the house with a bandana tied over my mouth & nose because my brother has the flu & i really don’t want to get it, too.

so that’s what i wore in a week! i don’t put much effort into my clothes on the weekends because i don’t usually go anywhere (during winter, at least), but hopefully the other outfits give you an idea of what my style is, even though it does bounce around a bit.

let me know in the comments which outfit was your favorite!

xo apollo

life, i guess (5)


hello everybody! it’s been a long time since i last posted and i am here to explain why.

my summer has been a whirlwind. i got a job as a handicraft instructor at a boy scout camp (aka my favorite place on earth) and was there for seven and a half weeks: half a week for training, six on staff, and one as a camper with my AHG troop. then band camp started the week i got back from work. so i’ve been super busy and haven’t gotten a chance to post anything because of how insane my schedule has been. now that camp is over and i actually have a stable wifi connection again, i’m hoping to get back to posting regularly.

now it’s time for some general life updates, i.e. what have i been doing recently besides camp?

– as i just mentioned, i had a summer job working at a boy scout camp! i miss it so so much. there are so many things i miss that i didn’t think i would, like the food and heat and uniforms. and then there are the obvious things, like my friends and the handicraft area and the surprisingly entertaining campers.

i taught an assortment of badges at handicraft, including space exploration, fingerprinting, pottery, basketry, indian lore, and art. i didn’t know much about the merit badges or the BSA going in, so i pretty much winged all my classes. we did stuff like nature journaling hikes and wrestling and launching rockets.

i’m absolutely working at camp again next year, and i’m planning on helping at winter camp and spring break camp, too. mostly for the free staff shirts they hand out to volunteers, but also because i love that place and i love my camp friends.

i’ll try to make a separate post about camp because this has been the best summer of my life so far and i want to remember it by writing everything down.

– i got a phone earlier this summer! and then managed to completely shatter the screen three weeks later in the Great Apple Pie Incident of 2019. i got it fixed but now nobody trusts me with my phone, or with fruity desserts.

my bff & i being artsy

– in my scouting group (american heritage girls), there are level awards that you can earn for every rank. i’m working on the last level award right now, the dolley madison, and one of the things i need to do is put fifteen hours into planning and hosting an event/service project.

my project is painting a music-themed mural outside my school’s band room. i started working on it this week and i think it’s coming along pretty well. it’s going to have a list of previous band directors, the notes to our fight song, and little musicians in keith haring’s art style. i was hoping to have it finished by the time school starts, but that’s next week, so it probably won’t happen.

– this is my second year doing marching band, but it’s been such a different experience. i played in pit last season; this time i’m marching bass in the drumline. so i’m learning how to crabstep and do visuals and memorize drill, which is all very new and confusing. also, i had to miss one week of band camp because of scout camp, and that’s the week they worked on drill to the opener. i had to speed learn most of that movement earlier this week and it was exhausting. and then after i had gotten all of it down, we found out that our low battery captain has to switch schools, so our drill and music has to be rewritten for the third time.

our show this year is paranormal-themed, which i am ridiculously excited about. i’m also thrilled that i got into drumline this season, and i can’t wait to see friends from other bands at competitions. so while this season is already super stressful, i think it will be worth it.

– i used to make friendship bracelets all the time, and this summer i taught myself how to do it again. i can make really complicated patterns, like the watermelon one that took days to finish. i’m working on a really neat starry night bracelet now.

i call them bracelets, but i always, always wear them as anklets. i wish i could wear them on my wrist because that would show them off better, but i can’t stop messing with them if they’re there.

would anyone be interested in some bracelet tutorials?

– i go back to school on tuesday and i am really not ready. in case anyone doesn’t know, i was homeschooled for most of my life and this is going to be my second year of public school ever. last year was really hard because everything was new, so i’m hoping this time things will be a little bit easier.

other than the basic classes (english, math, history, gym), i’m taking horticulture, bio II honors (anatomy + physiology), spanish III, and biotechnology. i’m looking forward to the science and agriculture classes a lot. horticulture because plants are neato; bio II because i’m hoping to go into EMS when i’m older.

so that’s what my life has looked like recently! i’ve got a bunch of almost completed posts hanging out on my draft list, so some normal content (or as normal as my stuff can get) should be coming your way soon.

my summer has been absolutely amazing, but i’ve also missed this blogging community, and i’m happy to be back.

xo apollo

blossoms + life, i guess (4)

hey, loves!

it’s been awhile since i just talked with you all about how my life is going. in general, i feel things quickly and vividly, so my update posts are usually messy and full of rants. but i’m actually kind of mellow right now, so i thought i would take advantage of this mostly calm state of mind and share what’s going on in my life right now. :)

– currently, my life is all about soccer. i have practice everyday after school until 5:30 and at least two games a week. i’m working on another post all about soccer, but i have some news that i’m just elated about and have to share right now!

so five of varsity’s players are currently injured and unable to play. they needed more subs for their last game, so the coach decided to pull up some JV players, and he picked me and one of our captains!! i am so thrilled that he considers me one of the best players. during the varsity game i played in, i somehow managed to get a break away and a shot on goal. it’s just huge news and makes me really excited for future soccer seasons.

also, i’m playing another varsity game tomorrow (unless it’s rained out). wish me luck! hoping i don’t get hurt.

– i talked about this in my last life post, too, but people just keep flirting with me. a guy in my bio class has been flirting with me for months and told me that on a scale of 1-10, he likes me at an 8 or a 9; a guy i met last year comes to my home games and sits with me in the stands while varsity plays; and this other boy who my mother described as a “cute string bean” comes to games sometimes, too, and always cheers for me. it’s very flattering but so annoying. i can’t wear a dress to school without getting a bunch of texts about how cute i look. i usually just say “thanks, it has pockets” and don’t address the flirtatious part of the conversation. but that doesn’t stop them from complaining later about how they can’t read me and how i’m sending mixed signals or whatever.

– so school right now is going pretty well for me. i have straight A’s in all my classes, but i missed a bunch of classes/work last week because i got sick, so that might change. plus, i have a bunch of SOLs coming up, which i’m nervous about because i’ve only taken one in my life and they’re still a pretty foreign concept.

i recently had to sign up for next year’s classes, and the ones i’m most excited about are bio II honors (anatomy + physiology), bio technology, and horticulture. i really like science, if you can’t tell. i had tried to sign up for a fire & rescue course at a nearby technical school, too, but apparently i’m not old enough, so i’ll have to wait until the 2020-2021 school year to take that. :/

– i am really on top of my goal of earning 10 ahg badges this year (read more about it in my new year’s resolutions post)! my troop’s spring award ceremony is in mid may, and i am for sure getting eight badges: living in the usa, cake decorating, physical fitness, special delivery (stamp collecting), kitchen scientist, living & working in space, home care & repair and young meteorologist. there are also about seven other badges that aren’t 100% completed, but should be by the time the ceremony rolls around.

redbud tree + chipped nails + soccer sweatshirt

– i’ve been thinking a lot about my stars & stripes project lately, which is ahg’s version of an eagle scout project. i feel like i’m running out of time to pull it together and get my award. the problem is that i have absolutely no idea what i want to do for my project. it has to benefit the community in some way and take at least 100 hours to complete. i was googling project ideas, and the only one i found that sounded ok was installing a sensory room in an elementary room for children with autism. so that’s an idea, but it still doesn’t seem like exactly the right fit for me. i’m a little bit stressed about it, so any huge project suggestions would be appreciated.

xo apollo

what’s in my bag?

hey, guys!

i thought i’d take on a classic lifestyle post today: the what’s in my bag? challenge. if feel like if someone has been carrying around the same bag for a long time, you can figure out some things about them from its contents. this challenge just seems neat to me because of that (and also because i can be kind of nosy).

to start, let’s take a look at my bag: a black mini backpack from the sak. i really don’t like purses — they always seem to be getting in the way — so a backpack is the best fit for me. it looks tiny, but with all the pockets hidden throughout, this bag can amazingly fit everything i need!

so, what do i have in my bag on an average day?

notebook – this journal is basically my best friend. i write down poems and post ideas, to-do lists, quotes or lyrics i like, big events in my life and even the tiny ones. i don’t use it that much when i’m out, but i do like to have it nearby in case something happens that i need to write down right away.

pens – all of my pencils mysteriously break in my bag, so i’ve taken to carrying around pens instead. i like these black pilot G2 gel pens.

a book – i have a book of some sort with me at all times! if i’m waiting somewhere, i pick up whatever i’m reading instead of my phone and try to get through a few pages. it’s how i finish books so quickly, and it also cuts down unnecessary time spent on my phone. right now i’m reading the little prince.

water bottle – i don’t drink a lot of water unless it’s in the form of hot tea, but i’m trying to fix that by always having my water bottle with me. i took it from the lost and found at camp last summer, so it’s pretty scratched up and sometimes it makes dolphin noises when i’m drinking (no idea how to fix it). consuming tons of water is supposed to help your skin, and i need it for soccer practice, so.

on my water bottle’s carabiner is a CPR mask and a spiral lanyard that scout made for me last summer. :)

phone – i never bring a charger with me, though. huh. i should probably fix that.

earbuds – some of my classes require that i have earbuds, and i always end up forgetting them on the days that they’re actually needed. but for the most part, i just listen to music (obviously). i get easily overwhelmed at school, so putting in my earbuds to block everything out when i’m walking to class is really helpful for me.

wallet – my brother got me a wallet for maybe my seventh birthday, and i finally replaced it last month. it had been through a lot by that point (it was in my backpack at camp when a freak storm blew through and soaked everything, which made the wallet start peeling). i found this cute thing on sale and knew it was the perfect replacement.

painkillers – i’m not really supposed to have this stuff at school, but i get hurt so often that it seems smart to bring them anyway. since it’s soccer season and i’m a rather aggressive player, i constantly have a sprained or bruised limb that the painkillers can help with.

travel toothbrush & toothpaste – so i got my braces off in february, and then i wore a retainer 24/7 for a  month. this was just a helpful, hygienic  kit to have with me. now that i don’t need to wear my retainers to school, there’s really no reason for me to have this, but i just haven’t gotten around to getting it out of my bag.

lactaid – i am very, very lactose intolerant and didn’t know until a few years ago. i started using these last year and they are a lifesaver. for the first time in my life, i can eat ice cream or yogurt or cheese pizza without crying in the bathroom twenty minutes later because my body hates me!

lip balm – i never go anywhere without some lip balm in my pocket! my current favorites are burt’s bees vanilla bean and my pink by baby lips.

hair ties – the girls on my soccer team are always asking for hair ties and i can never say no. i bought a pack of fabric pastel ones at the beginning of the season so i would always have extras.

lotion – my hands get horribly dry during the winter, so dry that they’ll bleed at the knuckles. it looks kind of hardcore but it’s also really painful. i’m usually rushing in the morning and end up forgetting to put on lotion before i go, so i keep this travel-sized tube in my backpack.

what can’t you leave home without? for me, it’s a book!

xo apollo

do you hear the people sing? | my les misérables experience


hey, guys!

at the end of february, my school put on a production of the classic musical les misérables. that’s a pretty challenging choice for a bunch of high schoolers, but i think we pulled it off pretty well.

i spent most of my time last month working on this show, so i thought i’d write about what that experience was like! i hope you enjoy this peek into a high school theatre department. :)

originally, i had auditioned to be part of ensemble. i sang left behind from spring awakening and it actually went a lot better than i had expected it to. but i ended up not getting cast (the directors made the cast super small this year, which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but oh well), so i decided to work backstage instead. my main job was doing props with one other girl, but i also helped my mom with fixing costumes when i got the chance, because props is kind of boring.

my proudest moment was when i got to carry a potted plant on stage at the beginning of in my life/a heart full of love. that was my one second in the spotlight and i only messed up half of the time!

the theatre tech class made hundreds of these for the show

personally, i didn’t enjoy backstage very much. our crew was entirely girls, and they were all a big group of friends. i only knew two of them from marching band, although i wasn’t very close with them anyway. so i felt out of the loop and a little excluded from crew stuff during the musical. like, they got a professional picture of the backstage girls that i wasn’t in, they bought pizzas during rehearsal without telling me, etc.

crew was seriously unappreciated. we were going over bows at one rehearsal, and when all of the actors had gotten their turn, someone asked our theatre director when crew was supposed to bow. she replied that we weren’t going to because she’d never been in a show where backstage bowed. everyone in crew was outraged, and it made some of the cast upset, too. i understand that in a professional show, crew probably wouldn’t get a bow, but this was just a high school production. crew had been at all the long rehearsals, we’d put in just as much effort as everyone else, and we felt like we deserved one moment of recognition. eventually, our director agreed to let us bow, but i think most of us were still bitter about it for the rest of the shows.

but i’m going to be honest: crew has more fun. while the actors were running back and forth between the wings, fussing with mics and costume changes, we got headsets and sang backstage and danced little jigs during master of the house and the wedding scene.

part of crew @ the barricade. look at our gorgeous, hand-painted background!

since i wasn’t close with any of the crew, i spent a lot of time reading by the props table or distracting my actor friends. actually, i ended up making one friend miss a few of her scenes because we were hanging out in a dressing room listening to bob marley. :)

i also talked with my friends in the pit a lot before shows and during intermission. my favorite section leader was playing oboe, and the marching band’s tenor player was doing percussion. i would sit by the stage and chat with them while charging strips of glow in the dark tape with my phone. the bits of tape were all over the stage, and they let crew know where to put big set pieces.

my brother was also in les mis! he played the innkeeper, monsieur thénardier, and he was absolutely incredible. i was so so proud of him. he was an excellent drunkard and he really commanded the stage during his solos. i also really enjoyed seeing madame thénardier get in his face and push him around during master of the house. anyway, it was a huge leap for him to get such an important role after being in ensemble during last year’s show (the sound of music), and since he did such an amazing job, i have hope that he’ll get the lead in our next one.

speaking of my brother, he got a very sweet candygram from this girl from a neighboring school. they talked for awhile after the show, kept in touch, and then they went on a “casual” date yesterday! she helped direct her school’s production of the little mermaid, my brother was one of the leads in les mis . . . theatre couple?? yes please.

i feel like i’ve explained candygrams before, but in case anyone doesn’t know, they’re these little paper cutouts with candy and handwritten notes on them. so in the lobby, musical parents were selling roses and candygrams for the cast and crew. the cast and directors used those fancy plastic dividers that you hang on doors as mailboxes for their candygrams — crew and pit shared an itty bitty bucket the size of a water glass. i got a few notes from my mom, my friend hannah (who played a lovely lady), and also one from my brother’s ex’s mom?

b&w view of the barricade

for the most part, the cast was phenomenal, but a few choices made me rather upset. first of all, a friend auditioned with me, and he got in but i didn’t. and that’s not really the part that makes me mad. it’s the fact that his audition was literally the worst one. he sang something from phantom, but he’s a terrible singer, didn’t know the words, and stood still while he performed. he’d never done theatre before and didn’t even want to be in the musical. also, his acting was terrible and he spoke his lines instead of singing them. it just makes me so angry that despite being so undeserving of a role, he got in simply because he’s a boy and the directors wanted more soldiers. there were so many better choices at the auditions: people who were passionate and talented and devoted. but they picked him instead because of his gender. it wasn’t fair at all, and i know it’s been months since auditions, but i’m still upset about it.

i don’t know what musical we’re doing next year, but i’ve heard that the directors are considering newsies or beauty and the beast. between those two, i’m hoping for newsies, because i love that show very much. also, i don’t think anyone at my school wants to do a disney musical.

even though i wasn’t cast in les mis, i’m planning on auditioning again next year, because i do love theatre and want to be in a few more shows before i graduate. but if i don’t get a role, i’m not going to help backstage again. it just wasn’t my thing. i didn’t have any friends in crew, i had to go to long rehearsals where crew wasn’t needed, and it was too much work without any appreciation from the directors. without us, the show would have fallen apart, and the theatre director didn’t seem to be aware of that.

to sum things up: i’m so proud of my friends for putting on a stunning rendition of les misérables. the whole experience was emotionally draining and made me lose some of my passion for theatre. but listening to the abc men belt do you hear the people sing? and our insanely talented marius perform empty chairs at empty tables planted this burning, hopeful, defiant feeling in my chest that has not gone away.

red, i feel my soul on fire! black, my world when she’s not there! (abc café/red and black)

xo apollo

monarchs + life, i guess (3)

i haven’t posted in over a month and a bunch of stuff has happened since then. so today i’m going to be ranting about my life!

also, i have some pictures of monarch butterflies and mexican sunflowers to share. :)

– this is my first year going to public school, and it’s been really stressful so far. i’ve already missed a lot of school because some days i’ll wake up and just be way too overwhelmed to go to class. i think the hardest part is being around people for so long, especially since up until last week, i was staying at school until around 6:30 everyday because of marching band. but the season’s over now so i’ll have free time again.

but, uh, if anyone has tips for dealing with public school, they would be greatly appreciated.

– it’s only the third month of school and i know of seven or eight people who like/liked me. one asked me to homecoming in august, and two (maybe three) others were planning on doing the same, but didn’t once i said i was going with my best friend kelsie. two are 8th graders in the band who will probably lose feelings for me now that we won’t see each other very often, one is my best friend at school, and the other is a girl who’s friends with my brother. i’m flattered that people like me so much, but it’s kind of a lot to deal with. and i feel really bad about myself because i know i’ve hurt some of them and might screw up our friendships. romance is so messy and i’m not any good at it.


– marching band was the only thing i liked about school, and our final competition was last saturday. the season started off pretty well and then gradually went downhill. the most disappointing part was when we got second place percussion in our class, and then found out that the announcer had made a mistake and we’d actually gotten fourth. (to put it in perspective, there were five bands in our class and one of them didn’t show up.)

i only have classes with one of my band friends, and i’m going to miss everyone a lot. we still have a banquet, a few playoff games, and pep band before the season is completely over, but it’s not the same as practicing outside in the rain before the sun’s risen, spending all day with my friends, and then sleeping in a pile on the bus on the way back home. i can’t wait until next year when i get to join drumline. :)

– musical auditions happened recently. my school’s doing les misérables this year. i sang left behind from spring awakening, and i was so insanely nervous. my brother told me that my face was twitching. everyone said that if you audition for a supporting role and don’t get it, then you’re automatically placed in ensemble, which is what i wanted anyway. but i guess they did something different this time and only a dozen people got ensemble, and i’m not one of them. but my friend who only auditioned because of me got in. i’m totally not mad though. :)

idk, no one is very happy with the cast list, not even the people who got good roles. the only person who’s really ok with it is my brother, who got cast as the innkeeper. i’m honestly really disappointed because the musical was one of the reasons i decided to go to public school, and now i don’t get to be in it. i’ll probably help backstage but it’s really not the same.

– my friend n told me years ago that he was going to write a song for me, and he finally did. i listened to it during lunch yesterday and i just sat there and cried. it’s called i guess i lied and it’s my favorite song right now. it’s about me and our history together and it kind of means the world to me. he’s so talented and i’m really proud of him. :’)

this was a messy post but i really needed to rant. life is too much to handle sometimes.

i’m thinking of posting more poetry soon, if you guys are cool with that. i was very caffeinated last night and ended up staying awake until 3:30. during that time, i cleaned my whole room, did two projects for school, and wrote a couple of poems that i’m actually rather proud of. so just a heads up that you’ll be seeing more poetry soon even though the last post i made was about my poetry, too.

have a good day, everyone. i’m so glad that autumn is here.

xo apollo