8•19•17 | county fair

i was able to go to the fair with a few of my friends last saturday (k, b, and two who i’ve never talked about before: emily and adam). summer has come to a close, school started yesterday for me, and my best friends and i aren’t going to the same co-op anymore. it felt like a last hurrah. a toast to summer and all-nighters and lost loves. the happy ending to the chapter where we saw each other every friday. it was exciting and sad.

i met up with my friends in the barn with the poultry and rabbits. then we explored the art exhibit. we stood in line for about twenty minutes just to buy tickets for the rides. adam let a young woman cut in front of us because she offered him five dollars.

adam is quite weird. he kept bumping into us and trying to push us in front of oncoming golf carts. he got slapped often that night. i don’t feel bad for him.

we were going to fight each other — brawl right there in the middle of the street. i was pretty confident that i could beat him, but k and emily wouldn’t let us. they’re no fun.

fair food is greasy and too sweet and exactly the kind of thing to enjoy with friends. k and i shared a funnel cake.

zero gravity ride.

it’s not blurry, it’s aesthetic.

round and round like a horse on a carousel, we go. will i ever catch up to love? i could never tell. (carousel // melanie martinez)

the typhoon is my favorite ride at the fair. i didn’t get to go on it this time, though.

i kept trying to sneak pictures of my friends. k and adam got pretty ticked at me. :)

b had to leave before too long, which was a bit disappointing. we missed you, my dear.

the only ride we went on was the ferris wheel. we waited in line for about half an hour. it wasn’t that bad, really. we made fun of my friend’s deadbeat boyfriend who bailed on her, complained about the line a lot, etc. adam had a soda and was threatening to pour it on my head. i dared him to, because i would have been able to slap him for it without getting in trouble. but he was actually decent enough not to dump the soda on me (shocking!!).

cotton candy clouds.

the top of a ferris wheel at twilight is a sweet, romantic place, right? k was hoping to ruin someone’s date, so she started singing “i hate you, i love you, i hate that i want you” at the top of her lungs.

sitting at the top of a ferris wheel makes me feel like i am part of something bigger. lights on the ground, lights in the sky, lights in my friends’ eyes. the people buzzing about on the earth appear as we really are: tiny. there’s a breeze lifting the damp hair off my neck and i can hear music and laughter from below. this must be what it feels like to be infinite.

on a fault line, late night
underneath the stars we came alive
and singing to the sky just felt right
i won’t forget the good times

while the punks started picking fights
with the skater kids under city lights
remember how we laughed till we cried
i won’t forget the good times

i never want to leave this sunset town
but one day the time may come
and i’ll take you at your word
and carry on

i’ll hate the goodbye
but i won’t forget the good times

good times // all time low

xo apollo

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love the skin you’re in tag

hello, my friends!

rutvi nominated me for the love the skin you’re in tag. it’s a wonderful tag about self-love, but i think it might be a bit difficult for me to do, because i’m not very fond of my appearance. but i’ll try anyway. :)

1) one feature you love about yourself?

my eyes are probably my favorite thing about myself. my friend randomly mentioned one day how pretty they are. she said that they’re green around the pupil, then blue, and then a line of teal around the edge of the retina.

2) one feature you wish/wished you could change that you are trying to accept or have accepted?

i’ve never really liked my eyebrows, a lot of people tell me they’re too thick and dark. but when i was at camp, something rather nice happened to me. a group of really beautiful high school girls came up to me at about midnight. they said they’d been meaning to tell me all week that i’m gorgeous and that they love my eyebrows. :)

3) have you ever thought of getting surgery to change you imperfections?

nah. everything to do with doctors freaks me out, so i wouldn’t be able to have surgery, even if i wanted to.

4) has a family member or friend ever put you down about your physical appearance? if so, what for?

i get lots of comments on my height and weight. i’m about 5’2 and under 100 lbs., which means i get told how short and thin i am quite often, and sometimes in a slightly rude way. i don’t mind being called tiny, but i feel rather weird when people mention how much i eat.

5) something you love about your fashion sense or style?

i don’t really have a style, i don’t think? i like soft grunge, but i know that i don’t dress like that. i guess i like how comfortable my clothes are, even if they don’t look that great. and i have some pretty cool t-shirts, like a nasa one and one with the marvel logo.


6) why is your body a great place to be?

because if i wasn’t in my body, i would just be a disjointed blob of consciousness, i guess? (which wouldn’t actually be that bad, but whatever.)


i tag mckenna, eva, julia, and nabila. if you weren’t tagged, but would like to do it anyway, please go right ahead. :)

xo apollo

playlist: songs for summer (2)

kelsie — swing, swing from the tangles of my heart. (the all-american rejects)

i think some people are like bubbles. they’re beautiful but sometimes can’t help but float away. (about to burst)

a fair in pennsylvania.

sweaty summer job.

i said that you are prettier than the flowers and i meant it.

a fair in north carolina.

see part one here.

« post idea from mason‘s rad blog. songs in bold are explicit. »


the reckless and the brave // all time low

ride // twenty one pilots

revolution radio // green day

ocean avenue // yellowcard

l.a. devotee // panic! at the disco

teenage satellites // blink-182

fourth of july // fall out boy

hello, brooklyn // all time low

unbelievable // owl city

kings of the weekend // blink-182

she’s a rebel // green day

young volcanoes // fall out boy

bulletproof heart // my chemical romance

with you around // yellowcard

america’s suitehearts // fall out boy

last young renegade // all time low


even though it’s nearing the end of summer, it feels like the most summery time for me, probably because i get to go to the week-long camp that i’ve been talking about for months. it’s about two hours away and one of my favorite places. we leave sunday morning (i’m writing this on the 5th), and i haven’t actually started packing yet, but it will be fine.

there are so many wonderful things at camp, like the jellyfish in the lake, the tepee on the island, the totem poles, the archery range, etc. it’s a boy scout camp, but they let my scouting group, ahg, use it for one week. we work on badges while we’re there, and the ones i’m doing are fishing, shooting sports, search, survival, and rescue, and possibly cinematography. my friend izzy will be there, too, and she’s taking all the same classes. that’s nice for me, because i would feel extremely out of place without her.

i never shut up about this camp, sorry. and i never even post pictures of it. but we get a lot of free time this year, so i’ll (hopefully) be able to get lots of photos. :)

xo apollo

30 song challenge

welcome to this trash heap of a blog, run by your friendly neighborhood emo kid. enjoy your stay here and try not to cringe too much. :)

mason did the 30 song challenge on their blog, and i thought it looked pretty cool, so here we are.

1) your favorite song 

please don’t.

2) your least favorite song

gather round, my children, and let me tell you a story. my brother is really into ’80s music and will play maybe four songs from that time on repeat. one of those is never gonna give you up // rick astley. i didn’t like that one in the first place, and he’s played it so often that i flip out 0.3 seconds into the song.

3) a song that makes you happy

sophomore slump or comeback of the year // fall out boy. definitely one of my favorite fob songs.

we’re the therapists pumping through your speakers, delivering just what you need. 

4) a song that makes you sad

waving through a window // dear evan hansen. it pretty much perfectly depicts social anxiety. i’ve sort of latched onto the entire thing.

did i even make a sound? it’s like i never made a sound. will i ever make a sound?

Dear Evan Hansen (Original Broadway Cast Recording)

5) a song that makes you feel guilty 

good for you // dear evan hansen. aka the most passive aggressive song ever. it just leaves me feeling so forgiven (sarcasm).

i gotta find a way to stop it, stop it, just let me out!

6) a song that reminds you of someone 

pup: the right girl // the maine

i did the wrong thing to the right girl. it was your world, baby, and i just lived in it. 

drama queen // green day

she is my drama queen. she is so wild and reckless. 

n: far too young to die // panic! at the disco

don’t let me do this to myself. | well, i never really thought that you’d come tonight.

my mum: shut up // blink-182

i wanna move out, when can we move out? this has got to stop.

what you need // bring me the horizon

don’t ask me why and then roll your eyes at the answer. 

7) a song that reminds you of somewhere 

nice2knoU // all time low reminds me of summer camp. i get to go there next month and i’m quite excited about that. :D

we always say that we’ll keep in touch. nobody does, but it don’t matter much. 

8) a song that reminds you of a certain event 

can’t help falling in love // twenty one pilots (cover) and on the wing // owl city remind me of the weekend i spent with n at the lodge. he can play can’t help falling in love on his ukulele, and he played it probably a hundred times while we were there.

9) a song that you know all the words to

built this pool // blink-182.

I WANNA SEE SOME NAKED DUUUUDES. THAT’S WHY I BUILT THIS POOL. (IS THAT REALLY IT?)

that’s the whole song, and i freaking love it.

10) a song that you can dance to 

dancing for me means jumping around and headbanging (it looks so hot, trust me), and party poison // my chemical romance and where did the party go // fall out boy are good for that. :)

11) a song that makes you fall asleep

anything by sleeping at last. they make such soft, dreamy songs, and listening to them is a nice way to fall asleep.

12) a song from your favorite band

i tried making a playlist of my favorite songs. it’s called “swiggity swag you look good in drag” and has 100+ songs. so i don’t think i can answer this one.

13) a song from a band you hate

i cannot stand taylor swift (sorry, rutvi), so anything by her. my dad loves her, though. he watches taylor swift music videos at work to entertain himself. and one time when pup was here, we walked in on him twerking to one of her songs (should’ve said no, i think). that was an e x p e r i e n c e.

14) a song that no one would expect you to love

idk?? it’s still rock and roll to me // billy joel. maybe. is that surprising?

15) a song that describes you

i’m a mess // frank iero and the patience, weightless // all time low, or anything from the front bottoms’ talon of the hawk album. here is my attempt to sum up the album:

i’m so cool and punk!! *half-hearted dab because that’s what the kids do these days* i’ve been crying for three weeks straight, though. love sucks, but here i am, wanting attention and to hold someone’s hand!! i’d totally get drunk to forget my pain, but i’m a minor and alcohol is kind of gross anyway!! *skateboards off a cliff while crying and drinking a capri sun*

16) a song you used to love but now hate

please don’t make me think about my past choices.

17) a song you often hear on the radio

idk, man. i don’t listen to the radio very much because it gives my mom a headache or something. the only station we can agree on is a classic rock one.

18) a song you wish you heard on the radio

literally anything that i actually like, please. i can never sing along to the radio because i don’t often listen to music that’s “in.”

Image result for regional at best

19) a song from your favorite album

regional at best // twenty one pilots is probably my favorite album. i love the songs glowing eyes, lovely, slowtown, and ruby.

20) a song you listen to when you’re happy

if i’m in an incredibly good mood, i’ll listen to owl city, probably the maybe i’m dreaming album.

21) a song you listen to when you’re sad

i have a playlist called “:(,” so i guess whatever’s on that.

22) a song you listen to when you’re angry. 

beaten in lips // beartooth. it’s one of my favorite songs and it makes me want to finally fight back. :)

listen to the sound of your children revolting. listen to the sound of the lives you’re ruining.

23) a song you want to play at your wedding

the tøp cover of can’t help falling in love. it’s beautiful and still kind of emo.

take my hand, take my whole life, too. cause i can’t help falling in love with you.

24) a song you want to play at your funeral 

adam’s song // blink-182. or maybe good riddance (time of your life) // green day. take notes, my friends. :)

Coconut Sharks In The Water by RaposaBoba

25) a song that makes you laugh

COCONUT SHARKS IN THE WATER.

TØP’S BEST SONG. 10/10.

26) a song you can play on an instrument 

the two songs i’ve been playing recently on my ukulele are drama queen // green day and peach // the front bottoms.

27) a song you wish you could play

i can stumble my way through can’t help falling in love, but i’d like to be able to play that one well.  

28) a song in a foreign language that you like

au revoir (adios) // the front bottoms technically counts, right? it says “au revoir” and “adios” a lot, so yeah, it counts.

you know what i think’s really sad? i know how really sad you are. 

29) a song from your childhood

counting stars // one republic. pup likes singing this one when we’re together because she knows i used to love it.

one time this very religious girl got angry because a group of kids were singing the “i feel something so right doing the wrong thing” part.

Image result for blurryface

30) your favorite song at this time last year

anything from tøp’s blurryface album, probably.

if anyone would like to do this challenge on their blog, go right ahead. :)

xo apollo

dear blue eyes | love notes

i. i think every poem about blue eyes was written about you. aquamarines, the ocean, a clear summer sky, the lake at camp, the tiny flowers growing beside the porch — they have blended together into the enchanting color of your gaze.

ii. i’m not sure if i believe in the red string of fate, or soulmates, or 11:11 wishes, or even true love. but i pray that if they’re real, then when i’m tripping over thin air, it’s because our string is wrapped too tightly around my legs. if they’re real, then your soul will teach mine how to dance with yours. if they’re real, know that i always wish for you. if they’re real, then let this love be as sure as the north star.

iii. once we get that apartment, i’m going to kiss your forehead when you come home from practice, even though you’ll taste like sweat.

iv. i want to tell you. i cannot tell you. i will never tell you.

v. i find you everywhere. in dripping, sickly sweet popsicles, lazy summer afternoons, glasses of lemonade in pretty cups, snatches of pop songs from a passing car.

vi. i am sure that you are the sun stuck in a human body.

vii. it hurts to hear you talk about the person you love, because it’s not me. you look so dreamy and absolutely lost in love, and i wonder if you’ve ever felt that way about me.

viii. i hope you know that every time i call you a loser, i’m trying to say “i love you.”

ix. it took me years to even hug you. i was afraid that the quickening of my heartbeat would give everything away. or that the sparks when you touch that you read about in cheesy love stories are real.

x. romance novels are so predictable. there are impossibly perfect kisses. person a. accidentally breaks person b.’s heart. but it was a mistake. they make up and everything is fine again. things are always easy between them and they live happily ever after. this is no romance novel. this is a horror story with a romantic subplot.

xi. i write about you, sometimes, in my journal. there are poems about what your soul looks like, and song lyrics that blur into your name.

xii. love is not a choice, although i wish it was. i would tell myself to stop falling for my friends.

xiii. none of this matters. i don’t love you anymore.

xo apollo

playlist: songs for summer (1)

here’s a list of songs that are either about summer, or give me summery vibes. if you’re not in a summer state of mind yet, these might help you along. part two coming soon. :)

« post idea from mason‘s rad blog »


summertime // my chemical romance

ocean avenue (acoustic) // yellowcard

satellites // sleeping with sirens

slowtown // twenty one pilots

swing, swing // the all-american rejects

umbrella beach // owl city

favorite record // fall out boy

save me a spark // sleeping with sirens

golden days // panic! at the disco

satellite // all time low

west coast friendship // owl city

forest // twenty one pilots

the strays // sleeping with sirens

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W // my chemical romance

saturday // fall out boy

on top of the world // imagine dragons

the yacht club // owl city

good times // all time low

kids from yesterday // my chemical romance


a concept: you are sitting on a dock, with fog drifting around you. you have a smoothie and your favorite book. listening to the birds and crickets singing a duet, you watch as the sun makes its slow ascent into the sky. vibrant hues bleed like watercolor over the horizon: peach and rose and lilac. a beam of sunlight lands on the dock, splashing you with warmth and hope. you open the worn covers of your book and are pulled into the fictional world as the one around you comes alive.

xo apollo