album aesthetics | collab with life in a blogshell

hey, guys! life in a blogshell and i have been working on a collab for awhile now, and i’m super excited to say that it’s finally ready!

we made aesthetics for some of our favorite twenty one pilots and panic! at the disco albums, and reviewed them. make sure to visit life in a blogshell to see her post, and follow her, too!

you guys know i review albums in a weird way (examples: last young renegade and vices & virtues), and this post isn’t an exception. i hope you enjoy it anyway. :)

regional at best // twenty one pilots

trembling hands, short breaths.
bouncing on trampolines and feeling like if you jump high enough, you will become a constellation.
saying “i’m fine” just because that’s how you’re supposed to respond, because trying to explain your messy mind leads to losing friends.
bloody bandages and scraped knees from those long runs you take at midnight, where the destination is simply away.
tired eyes and a tired soul.
staring at the ceiling all night, finding patterns in the plaster that morph into mocking words.
sitting with the people you call your friends and wondering if they would notice if you left and didn’t come back.
your room becoming your grave, your bed becoming your coffin.
evenings spent skateboarding alone while the summer heat turns the asphalt to lava.
fighting yourself during another sleepless night just to do it all again the next day.
stumbling through the empty house in the dark to splash water against your feverish skin, like that will fix everything.
paranoid glances over your shoulder, catching glimpses of those shadowy figures out of the corner of your eye.
bruised knuckles that fit perfectly in the dents in the walls.
this is it pounding through your head in time to the ball as you shoot hoops in the dusk.


by now, i think everyone has heard of twenty one pilots (and is sick of me talking about them). but not everyone knows about one of their earlier albums, regional at best, which is a shame because it’s my favorite one! it’s so good that even my best friend loves it, and she doesn’t like tøp that much.

if you thought lyrics from vessel or the self-titled album were sad, get ready for a whole new level of emotion. they feel like the kind of thing you would write in your journal because you know no one else is going to read it. idk, the lyrics are just so incredible and honest that they’ve driven me to tears on multiple occasions.

unfortunately, the album isn’t on spotify or itunes. but you can listen to it on youtube, and my friend tells me that it’s on pandora.

favorite songs: slowtown, glowing eyes, lovely, anathema, be concerned.

 

pretty. odd. // panic! at the disco

finding constellations in the freckles that dot your best friend’s skin.
absentmindedly painting beautiful designs on your sun-kissed arms.
praying for good things every night and knowing your request has been granted when you see the sunrise the next day.
having a secret garden in your mind where poems and happy memories bloom.
sketches, pressed flowers, and snatches of poetry filling up the worn journal you carry everywhere.
gentle piano music that drifts through your open rib cage to touch your heart.
cool, smooth sheets caressing your legs after a long day spent exploring.
wondering about the point of love when all the angels you fall for don’t feel anything back.
pastels and soft spring warmth.
happy tears dribbling down your cheeks when you see lovers holding hands, friends laughing together, a puppy playing in the grass, or a watercolor sunset.
strumming cheerful songs on a ukulele and making up the words as you go.
light casting pretty patterns on your hands late in the evening.
crowning your best friend with a wreath of daises, gently kissing their sun-warmed hair as you do so.
lying on your back in a meadow and feeling like you could slip into the earth, like you have always belonged there among the flowers.


pretty. odd. is such a spring album. i think that’s the best way to describe it, because spring is about new life, change, warmth, and awakening, and that’s what the music seems like to me, too.

my favorite thing about the album is the lyrics. they don’t always make sense, but i like trying to figure out what they mean. it gives me something to do while i play the album, beyond just listening to the music.

it’s a bunch of genres mashed into one album, so if one song isn’t your thing, there will likely be another that is. it could be described as folk, rock, indie, etc., and it has a really unique sound that i haven’t found anywhere else.

favorite songs: nine in the afternoon, that green gentleman (things have changed), northern downpour, folkin’ around, she had the world.


listen to these albums, let me know what you think, and make sure to check out lonelymeme’s post here!

xo apollo

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music recommendations (2)

i’ve been getting into some new artists lately (mostly indie pop, of all things) and felt it was time for another music recommendations post.

for every artist, i’m going to talk about the kind of music they make/why i like them, and then in parentheses are some of my favorite songs (ones in bold are explicit).

see part one here.


marina and the diamonds – it sounds like a band, but it’s actually just one singer, marina diamandis. she’s got a very different sound from other female artists because her voice is deeper and she always sounds so unbelievably confident. if you want to hype yourself up, marina’s music will do it. (homewrecker, teen idle, oh no!, hollywood)

mayday parade – i don’t think mayday parade has ever made a happy song. and i think what i like most about them is how desperate and human their lyrics are. here’s a tip: don’t listen to them late at night or after a breakup. just don’t do it. (stay, oh well, oh well, jamie all over, ghosts, when you see my friends)

my chemical romance – mcr is an emo band, which i guess gives them a bad name to those who never had their own emo phase. but i think that most of the people who say they hate mcr have never really listened to them. their songs cover lots of topics that almost everyone deals with at some point: anger, depression, love, being left behind, and, of course, angst. they’re always going to be one of my favorite bands because of how much their music has helped me get through life. (fake your death, the kids from yesterday, famous last words, the sharpest lives, the light behind your eyes, boy division)

newsies (musical) – this fantastic musical is all about rebellion and overthrowing The Man! there are some lyrics that make it especially relevant now, with all the protesting that’s going on, like these:

and the world will know we’ve been keeping score. either they give us our rights or we give them a war. we’ve been down too long, and we’ve paid our dues, and the things we do today will be tomorrow’s news.

so the world says no? well the kids do, too. try to walk all over us, we’ll stomp all over you.”

“ten thousand kids in the square, ten thousand fists in the air!

“behold the brave battalion that stands side by side, too small in number and too proud to hide. then say to others who did not follow through: you’re still our brothers, and we will fight for you.

plus, there’s a live version of the show on netflix, so it’s easy to get into. (the world will know, seize the day, brooklyn’s here, once and for all)

next to normal (musical) – this is a heartbreaking look into the reality of mental illnesses. it’s a roller coaster of emotions, and maybe this is just my empathetic side talking, but it makes you feel everything that the characters do: the confusion, anger, heartbreak, hopelessness, love, and eventually, some kind of happiness. the soundtrack is pretty long, but the story is so worth it. (i am the one, i’m alive, i’ve been, wish i were here)

oh wonder – this indie pop duo has such calm vibe. i feel like they have a rather unique perspective, too, like in the songs high on humans and drive. i like listening to them at night while i draw, because it relaxes me but also clicks on the creative part of my brain. (without you, ultralife, drive, technicolour beat)

owl city – owl city is the first artist i really fell in love with. i started listening to him in probably 5th grade, and i still love his music. his older albums are full of dreamy songs with clever and lovely metaphorical lyrics. for me, owl city is the ultimate feel-good artist. it makes me feel wonderstruck and curious and like good things are coming. (if my heart was a house, unbelievable, vanilla twilight, on the wing, up all night)

panic! at the disco – another emo band?? shocking. all of p!atd’s songs are bops, and brendon urie’s voice sounds like velvet and deep purple and red. most of the lyrics are really illustrative and paint a vibrant picture in your mind. i posted about my favorite of his albums (vices & virtues) here, if you’d like to check that out. (folkin’ around, this is gospel, far too young to die, the end of all things, the calendar)

sleeping at last – the lyrics are poetry and they’re beautiful. i instantly relax when i hear his music; it’s so soft and dreamy. it’s nice to listen to when it’s gloomy outside, you’re trying to rest, or you’re working on a project. (needle & thread, venus, neptune, rainbow connection (cover), north)

spring awakening (musical) – of course spring awakening is on here. would i actually be ok if i didn’t mention it in a music post?? to put it simply, it’s about teen angst and why proper sex ed. is important. i know that sounds bizarre, but it’s actually super good. the characters screw up so much but are still so endearing, and i feel like the songs reflect the mindset of most teens. (all that’s known, and then there were none, the mirror-blue night, don’t do sadness/blue wind, left behind)


try to pick one band/singer i mentioned, listen to a few of their songs, and then comment what you think. you might find your next favorite artist. who knows.

xo apollo

christmas playlist + memes

hello, friends! christmas always sneaks up on me, and this year is no exception. it’s in sixteen days and i’m not feeling very festive, and i haven’t finished shopping for gifts, either. i know what i’m getting everyone, but apparently you need money to buy stuff? who knew. luckily for me, i just got $50 from my grandpa, so that should help.

(also!! it’s snowing right now!! i’ll try to share photos of it and some more christmas-themed posts over the next two weeks.)

i’m a bit sick of traditional christmas carols, so i made a playlist for myself of (mostly) pop punk holiday songs. ones in bold are explicit. enjoy. :)

christmas playlist:

humbug // owl city

kiss me babe, it’s christmas time // owl city

all i want for christmas is you (cover) // my chemical romance

fool’s holiday // all time low

christmas lights (cover) // yellowcard

ho ho hopefully // the maine

peppermint winter // owl city

christmas on the road // sleeping with sirens

oh ms believer // twenty one pilots

the christmas song // owl city

smile at snow // dodie

white christmas (cover) // panic! at the disco

what’s this? (cover) // fall out boy

xmas time of year // green day

christmas collection album // sleeping at last

west coast christmas // anarbor

mini anti-christmas playlist:

xmas sux // frank iero and the patience

merry christmas, kiss my a** // all time low

i won’t be home for christmas // blink-182

yule shoot your eyes out // fall out boy


my friend b came over last month and helped decorate the christmas tree. neither of us can keep our hands off the camera, which means we got a lot of crappy pictures of each other. she suggested that we make memes out of the photos, which was a lot more fun than it should have been. so here are a few really awful christmas memes for your enjoyment (we made more, but they used pictures of me, so i guess you don’t get to see those).

meme4yes, they’re horrible, we know.

merry christmas!!

xo apollo

music recommendations

hey.

i’m sure you all know that i love music. i listen to lots of different artists and i wanted to share some recommendations. maybe you guys will get into new bands after reading this.

for every artist, i’m going to talk about the kind of music they make/why i like them, and then in parentheses are some of my favorite songs (ones in bold are explicit).

there’s going to be a part two sometime soon, hopefully.


all time low – all of the songs have a summery vibe to them, even the sadder ones. they make relatable songs about being young and lonely and in love. it’s perfect for road trips or to just distract yourself from life. they’re one of the first bands i got into and they’ll always be special to me. (something’s gotta give, the edge of tonight, weightless, backseat serenade, if these sheets were the states, a daydream away)

beartooth – this band is one of the heaviest ones i listen to, i think (which isn’t very impressive, honestly). it’s fast and loud and aggressive (pun pun pun), and exactly what you need when you’re upset and misunderstood and you need to be angry. it’s good to listen to if you’re in a bad place, because it’s both sad and inspiring. (beaten in lips, sick and disgusting, me in my own head, loser)

be more chill (musical) – as some of you may know, i am quickly becoming musical theatre trash (thanks, kathleen). it’s mostly about anxiety, i guess, and how the main character, jeremy, goes to insane lengths to be cool and accepted. some of the songs have a robotic vibe to them, idk how to explain it very well. but it’s a great musical and if you’re into theatre, i’d suggest checking it out. (two-player game, michael in the bathroom, the pitiful children, voices in my head)

blink-182 – these guys are classic punk rock, aka teen angst personified. some of the songs are funny, some are sad, some make you want to fight. if you don’t mind slightly offensive lyrics, you’ll definitely find one that fits you. (i miss you, ghost on the dance floor, after midnight, the rock show, adam’s song, aliens exist)

bring me the horizon – the earlier albums are kind of heavy, but sempiternal and that’s the spirit are easier to listen to, in my opinon. the lyrics are depressing and bitter and desperate, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need, you know? (drown, avalanche, follow you, throne, happy song)

dear evan hansen (musical) – this is the first musical i listened to, so of course it means a lot to me. it also breaks my heart every time i listen to or even think about it. it deals with depression and social anxiety so well without romanticizing them. i love the characters and soundtrack with everything that i am, and i think everyone should listen to it, whether they’re into musicals or not. (waving through a window, only us, good for you, words fail)

dodie – she’s only got eps so far, and they’re soft and sunshiny. you can hear her accent when she sings, and that makes me quite happy. idk, her songs just hit that spot in your heart that hurts because of love and friendships that didn’t work out. she’s got a lot of songs on youtube, which makes up for not having any actual albums yet. (you, when, secret for the mad, one for the road)

fall out boy – where do i even start with this band? they’ve got the best lyrics, the kind that you want to get tattooed. they change their sound a lot, but i love all of it. i’ve been listening to them for a couple years and i haven’t gotten tired of it yet, and i doubt i ever will. (last of the real ones, sophomore slump or comeback of the year, the (shipped) gold standard, the kids aren’t alright, young volcanoes, save rock and roll, bang the doldrums)

frank iero and the patience – frank iero was part of my chemical romance, which sets the bar for his music pretty high. but i actually like some of his stuff more than mcr’s (although nothing will ever replace them for me). it’s still pretty emo. the lyrics are personal and honest and a lot of them hit me right in the stomach. (viva indifferencei’m a mess, miss me, joyriding, remedy, oceans)

green day – i saw this tumblr post that pretty much sums up the band:

i’ve got nothing else to add.  (missing yougood riddance (time of your life)lazy bones, whatsername, troublemaker, fell for you, x-kid)

heathers (musical) – dang dang diggity dang-a-dang, what to say about heathers? it’s about murder and slushies and more murder!! it’s very good, trust me. it’s entertaining and morbid  and jd’s metaphor in freeze your brain messed me up. :’) (candy store, freeze your brain, shine a light (reprise), meant to be yours, dead girl walking (reprise))  


clearly, i’m very into punk rock. if you don’t like that genre, then too bad. (although idk how anyone could really despise punk rock.)

try to pick one band/singer i mentioned, listen to a few of their songs, and then comment what you think. you might find your next favorite artist. who knows.

(i won nanowrimo yesterday. yay, me.)

have a good day!! :)

xo apollo

playlist: rad

the “rad” playlist (which originally had y.m.c.a. on it, but it made me laugh so hard that i had to take it off):

i want you back // the jackson 5

forget you // ceelo green

blitzkrieg bop // ramones

basket case // green day

back in black // ac/dc

hooked on a feeling // blue swede

should i stay or should i go // the clash

we will rock you // queen

another one bites the dust // queen

carry on my wayward son // kansas

i wanna rock // twisted sister

i wanna be sedated // ramones

cherry bomb // the runaways

we didn’t start the fire // billy joel

all the small things // blink-182

wake me up before you go-go // wham!

ghostbusters // ray parker jr.

it’s still rock and roll to me // billy joel


i’m sick today, have been since sunday night. i’ve got a fever/cold, i think. idk if anyone else does this, but when i’m sick, i have to be moving constantly or else i’ll feel like throwing up. which means i’ve been drumming my fingers on things, pacing, fanning myself, etc. it sucks a bit, but i’m actually kind of glad, because i didn’t have to go to school today.

 my friend izzy slept over on monday. we had a campfire, played the alphabet game (“my name is bartholomew, my husband’s name is bob, we live in a bathtub, and we sell BaBiEs on the bLaCk MaRkEt.”), watched guardians of the galaxy, slept in a hammock (2 people + 1 hammock = very bad idea), and made fun of each other until 2 a.m. the next morning, we danced in the rain to the piña colada song and then came back in and played just dance (which is always extremely competitive for us). i need to make an appreciation post for my friends sometime, because they’re strange and wonderful and make my heart do weird things.

i haven’t worked on my nano project yet today, but i’m at 24%, so i guess i’m on track. i’m still on the first chapter and everyone is still on titan, which isn’t nearly as much fun to write about as space shenanigans are. i want to strap them into their crappy ship immediately, but i need to introduce more characters before i can do that. someone help me, nano is already driving me insane and i’m only doing 15k words.

friendly reminder to take your meds, drink some water, and relax your shoulders. sometimes things are happy and sometimes they are sad, but they’re all good and you will be ok.

xo apollo

vices & virtues

Image result for vices & virtues

the love child of last young renegade and dear blue eyes | love notes.

you can listen to panic! at the disco’s vices & virtues album while you read this, if you want.

i wrote this at 3 a.m., so it’s basically just me being really vulnerable!! please don’t use this as blackmail!!

longwood gardens

the ballad of mona lisa | say what you mean, tell me i’m right, and let the sun rain down on me. give me a sign, i want to believe |

i only lied twice: when i said i was ok, and when i said that you had never hurt me.

i wonder if you know that i have nothing left to offer. i cannot give you hope, or an escape, or a smile that says “everything will be alright.” i cannot give you a love worthy of writing songs about.

i need to do something in order to be loved. that is how the world works. i have nothing to give, and i don’t think that i ever did. so why are you still here?

fury sunset

let’s kill tonight | fate will play us out with a song of pure romance |

i have been treated unfairly, and i am allowed to be angry about it. there’s something twisting and winding up in my chest that makes it hard to breathe, and it’s getting tighter, and it’s going to make me explode. i am allowed to sit here while my vision is stained with violent, hazy shades and do nothing about the tightening thing in my chest.

i would like to stand just out of reach and yell about how you put this thing inside me, and how you are acting like it is my fault. i would like to yell about how this is me and i know you hate it and that is why i am becoming someone who only feels in extremes.

the artful dodger

hurricane | hey stranger, i want you to catch me like a cold |

i’ve been having that dream again. the one where you are on the sidewalk beneath the i just love . . . sign, and there is a fog over the world that matches my state of mind. i notice you from across the street, and i tell myself that i will know what to say this time. you see me, with eyes that are brown instead of blue, and that is somehow so much better. you walk away. i feel alone again, so alone. the word love is mocking me.

i am free

memories | oh memories, where’d you go? you’re all i’ve ever known. how i miss yesterday and how i’d let it fade away |

i am awake one morning when the birds are just beginning their this is a new day! song. pieces of light worm their way through the blinds and lie across the sheets; a drip of hope in this suburban tomb. you are suddenly all over my heart. it takes my breath away because i haven’t bloomed any roses in my soul for you in a long time. i had forgotten what this felt like. i can’t say that i’m glad to have remembered.

oh, blue eyes, don’t you see what you’re doing to me? i know i do not love you anymore. i can’t remember setting my heart on you so many years ago, and i can’t remember when i let you go, either. i had managed to forget that you are the definition of the word ethereal. i had forgotten that i was in love with you, and please, i wish i didn’t have to live with these memories.

plant life

trade mistakes | if i ever leave, i could learn to miss you |

you’ve probably forgotten. but believe me when i say that i never will. the room is filled with thick yellow light, the kind that makes you dizzy and only half there. i think i have been crying. i feel sick, like my head is packed with cotton balls, like if i move at all, i will slip away and disappear. i feel disconnected and like i am floating. i guess you were paying attention, because you put your arm around me and let my head rest against you chest.

“i love you,” you said to me.

i have been waiting my entire life to hear those words from you. i hope you can feel my smile against your shirt. i hope you know that you are filling me up with light and joy and the feeling of finally being safe and wanted. after making so many wrong turns in my life, you are the first thing to feel right.

longwood gardens

ready to go (get me out of my mind) | i think i’m ready to leave. i’m ready to live |

this is why i lock the bedroom door at night. i feel something strange at five in the morning. the walls are whispering to me, leave, leave. run away, bird. fly. i think i will listen to them someday.

there used to be a bag in my closet, packed with everything i would need to survive, if the hushed words convinced me that i should go tonight. i was going to be a traveling street musician with a song of lament and the confessions i couldn’t say to you.

longwood gardens

always | it was always you falling for me. now there’s always time, calling for me. i‘m the light blinking at the end of the road. blink back to let me know |

i’m sorry for never saying hello to you. i was sure that if i opened my mouth, the words i love you would escape instead. i came so close to telling you, my friend, every single time that we spoke.

i wish that one of us had been braver back then. what if we had said something when we still had time? you can spend your whole life dreaming and wishing and praying that you could go back and change one thing, one moment, one sentence. maybe if i had said yes instead of no when your friend asked if i liked you. maybe we would have had more time. maybe i am stuck with the future i have made for myself and there is nothing i can do.

downtown library

the calendar | and i meant everything i said that night. i will come back to life, but only for you |

if you’re wondering if i miss you, if i still love you — the answer is yes. it is always yes.

my friends tell me about their dreams, when we’re wrapped in blankets and sleepover-induced joy. they say that you and i get a happy ending. i hope that means traveling the world with you and our cameras. you promised, remember?

it will be a happy ending as long as you’re still here, and not just in my poetry and memories.

longwood gardens

sarah smiles | i really hoped that you would stay, but you left and went your own way, babe. i don’t mind, take your time, i got things to do besides sit around and way wait for you. oh, and i hope you do, too |

there was a summer that i spent trying to forget you. if you aren’t aware, attempting to forget someone ends up with them being on your mind even more. after all those nights i spent convincing myself that there was someone better out there (it was never the truth), after i could almost believe that i was over you, you turned up again and i was back where i started. i am trying to figure out whether your reappearance was a cruel joke or a spot of sunshine before the storm hit.

fairy bouquet

nearly witches (ever since we met . . .) | ever since we’ve met, i’ve got just one regret to live through. and i regret never letting you know | 

sometimes there’s a part of me that wonders if things would be easier if i had never met you. if i hadn’t skipped a grade, if you hadn’t been held back one, i never would have ended up sitting across from you during art and watching you draw. you make amazing art. you are amazing art.

but i don’t regret it. how could i? you are the best i’ve ever never had.

xo apollo